I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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