we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
