Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
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At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
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I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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