May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
