Where is the hickey?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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