matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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