Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
