thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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