i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
