He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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