am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
