Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
