is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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