"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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