reminds me of losing my job
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?