Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
