Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
