I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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