Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
