And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
