rhymes with "ouble enetration"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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