Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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