Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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