my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
