So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
