I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
