So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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