I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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