I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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