You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
