How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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