He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
