she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
