I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
