the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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