how can u be prego again
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
