Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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