You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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