Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
