we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
