it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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