It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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