Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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