white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think my vagina is haunted
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
