Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
COCAINE IS GR8
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
