I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
