so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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