idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
