Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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