If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
do herpes really smell.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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