it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
