I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
