Non-Jews are for practice
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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