Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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