Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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