a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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