Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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