Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
