I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
