u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize