I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
