If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
