Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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