Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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