Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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