I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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